


Don't ever use a schoolbook

by wisdomofsnow



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Banter, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 14:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdomofsnow/pseuds/wisdomofsnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky and Hutch are confronted with some pigheadedness from an especially stupid fellow officer who has his mind set to get one over on the Dynamic Duo and will stop at nothing as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't ever use a schoolbook

(I kindly used the beautiful characters of S&H)

„Hey Starsk? What’s that?“

„Hm, oh that’s my new book.“

Hutch reached over and drew the cover back. “English learning...? What are you reading that for?”

Starky rolled his eyes and threw his partner a look. “What do you think I'm doing? I’m improving my skill. You’re the one always telling me my English is bad. I should learn more words and structure and do paragraphs... Even Dobey said my report sounds like a dime store novel.”

“Oh, and that’s why you dragged out an old schoolbook?”

“You got it right, Blondie. Look at that passage here.” Starsky focused on the book “ ‘Mr.Brown was not a happy man, indeed he was a rather sad man’ he quoted. That’s nice flowing language ain’t it.”

“Absolutely Starsk, absolutely. Using language like that will help ye improve, maybe you’ll even become eloquent.”

“Elo—what.”

“Ah, forget it. We have to write a dozen reports here.” Hutch scratched his head with a pencil and begann scribbling again.

“Hm”, Starsky thought as he wrote in his sloppy script. The Torino was not a red car, indeed it was rather more a candy apple red. On and on he wrote from memory, fitting the beautiful structure to the images in his mind. Connecting, in some paragraphs that he felt bad about, metaphors and other words from memory with the already existing structure. He looked further through the old schoolbook and found a text 'bout swimming.

“Hey, here I found a structure about moving in water, that’s great just as I remembered it from school, now I know how to write that correctly again.”  
He wrote and wrote.

Suddenly he yelled, “Done, let's go grab something to eat Hutch. Hurry, I’m starving, here.” He smiled. “Now, Dobey can’t bother me again about my terrible writing.” And he broke into song, skipping his feet, whistling and offering the world a merry glance.

 

Like a shadow out of nowhere, Simonetti appeared a looming figure beside their desks. “What are you guys doing here with that book?”

Hutch put the last dot to his report and put it on the stack, right on top of the last ' his partner had written before. He pushed to the side and said: “Come on Starsk.”

“I’ll find out what you guys are after.” Simonetti yelled, raised finger and fury in his eyes, he looked like the statue of an avenging angel. Eagerly scurrying the table with his eyes he found the schoolbook. Because the other two were always one step ahead, he hurled the book across the room, where it landed on Rookie Shimble’s table with a swoosh. Now, Rookie Shimble took a look at the book and well, he may have used it or not. But for a while to Dobey’s office came very similar reports.

Dobey wondered, pondered, wavered and tried to wrap his mind around the thing.  
“Why have all my officers suddenly writing skill. Not even I, have style like that” , he grumbled and scratched his locks.

Frustrated he jumped from his chair and went for the door, throwing it open with a crash he yelled, “Starsky, Hutchinson in here!”

The two detectives, who had just returned from a quick snack, looked at each other, then went into Dobey’s office in mirrormotion as usual.

“Look you two.” Dobey began as soon as they were in his office. “ I have a dozen reports here that read disturbingly alike.”

“What’s that got to do with us, Captain?” Starsky asked, giving no thought to the old book lying in Hutch’s dump of a car.

“Starsky.” Dobey barked, “Your report was the first on my desk with that storyline, and I know your usual structure and...”

Simonetti entered smiling maliciously, “ In trouble here Starsky?” Turning to Dobey he asked, “Captain?”

“What is it Simonetti?” Dobey replied with a considerable strain in his voice.

“IA got wind of some suspicious reports, that are apparently from your department Captain. The similarity in style and vocabulary is, well hard to overlook. And it seems Starsky is involved in this.”

“I know, Simonetti. I was trying to get to the bottom of this right now.” Dobey gave the partners a hard stare, looking from one to the other. Dobey knew his men and he also knew who had a sense for silly games.

“Starsky? I’m waiting...” Dobey said.

Starsky looked at Dobey, then at Simonetti until finally his eyes rested on his blond partner, who smiled and gently tugged at his sleeve.

“Ah”, Starsky said as he leaned forward in his chair. “The book. Is this about that book, Hutch? This is about my book.” Hutch nodded simply, his forehead in frowns. “Captain I used an old schoolbook to enhance my skill. Well, I sort of rewrote the structure and...”

“You did what?” Captain Dobey’s eyebrows seemed to melt with his hairline at his streetwise detective’s claim.

“I wanted to learn. Captain. Learnin’ by doin’, right, Hutch? Get some input on the development from you?” He asked with a hopeful glance in the other men’s direction.

“Starsky that is...”  
“Against the law, Captain, that is copying, copying... That is illegal Starsky. I’m going to pull a file. I’ll mark you for life. You will never touch a report again, You... you...copycat”

“Now listen here, Simonetti ” Hutch answered in Starsky’s place stepping easily in front of him. “First, police reports are not fiction. Fiction is published in a book, written by an author and you have to pay for the reading. Second, if you now claim grammar structures as someone’s own, you’ll kill literature because if there is no skeleton, nothing will remain to uphold skin. Third, look at that book -- see the lines below say “Now you’ve learned the structure, please practise it. (Homework symbol) Write a story like the one above.”

“That is not possible. That is an encouragement to copy text. That is against the law. You aren’t allowed to copy -- never ever.” Simmonetti drawled furiously.

“Well”, Starsky pointed out. “Looks like you can. But then again this book was written before the change in law. Maybe I ought to change my report now just to be save, eh Hutch. Who knows ... those publishers ... they might get an idea after all, if there’s money in it. But then again the file is closed, it was fun though.”

Starsky got up and strolled away. Hutch by his side a gentle hand on his back guiding him.

“Thanks for the help Hutch. Sorry, I stupidly caused all that trouble. Could kick myself.”

“Don’t bother Starsk. Speech and writing worked that way for thousands of years. There are thousands of occasions ' you need to write a certain form. Remember our brief interlude jobless. The best way to learn writing is copying text. Structure and word will stick to your mind and help you develop a style that fits. Shame it isn’t used in school nowadays as much as it was before, otherwise children today would be able to write after they finished school.”

“Yeah, Hutch, then they would make books that you, partner, would like to read again.”

“You got it, pal. The great authors all lived from similar structure and storyline, enjoyed compare and loved the word as art. Was like battle – a great buffet for free.”

“Parody. I’m hungry again. Let’s get a dog.

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely a fun story since stupidity has always been inspiring to creative minds ;)
> 
> Oh by the way - what I wrote wrong is intended - if you want you can try to find out why :-)  
> Hint: It is a literary thing.


End file.
